Kitchen Table Tarot

The Lovers, The Chariot, 10 of Cups

Hello friend, and welcome/welcome back to my kitchen table. I hope that whenever and wherever you are, you are enjoying the potential of a new day—or if you are winding down towards its conclusion, that you will experience quality rest in preparation for the next. Sometimes life can feel a bit like the movie Groundhog Day, doing generally the same thing day in, day out. If that vibe of drudgery applies to you, try doing something nice for yourself. It doesn’t have to be something big, like an extravagant purchase or a vacation somewhere far away. It can be trying a new recipe, or buying a fancy tea, or treating yourself to some uninterrupted reading or video game time. Giving yourself something to look forward to may not fully chase away the doldrums, but it’s a kindness you deserve. As always, if the reading resonates, I hope it can bring you some clarity; if not, please take whatever you might need from it for the future. This one got a little wordy, so let’s get to these cards!

The overall energy I feel today is love, love, love—and the wish to return to something that feels like home. The Lovers, of course, represents partnerships and union, but it can also indicate a choice or a major decision. In concert with the cards following it, it appears to suggest that there is a choice to be made regarding love, including whether to stay where you are or move forward with something that might deliver the happiness and home you have been looking for. “Home” is the overwhelming vibe of the love you seek: comfort, safety, warmth, and harmony. You may have apprehension about relationships; perhaps when you were a child, the adults in your life didn’t set a very good example, and you have been led to believe that capital-R Relationships are quite a serious thing, something ironclad in terms of commitment. Love does not have to be hard. Life throws challenges at us, certainly, and no partner can be the solution to our problems, but the partnerships you take on—the love you choose to give, receive, and participate in actively—should not be a burden to bear, a constant mountain to climb. It won’t be effortless, but it shouldn’t be a slog, either; nor should your partners ever make you feel ashamed of yourself, try to change you to fit an ideal image, or abuse you in any way. The choice factor of this card indicates also that perhaps you have had to make choices in regard to relationships and have shied away from anything that seems too easy, opting for something that proves your adulthood and feels a lot like work. However, if you have found yourself gravitating toward something or someone that feels like home, consider that it isn’t “escaping” from the difficulty of a “real” relationship. Maybe it is the love you deserve, the colorful existence you are called to inhabit and experience. You will not know this for sure until you have the courage to choose it.

The Chariot, as a speedy card of focused determination, speaks to that gravitational pull. There is an urgency to take a journey, either literal or metaphorical, to return to something you have denied in the past. To ignore any yearning for something better (than what you’ve had in the past, or what your parents had, or whatever you conceptualize a “proper” relationship to be) is to close the door on your intuition and disregard your own feelings and needs. If you have been convinced that what you truly want is “bad for ya”—as though fulfilling love is like high-fructose corn syrup—then that’s like sticking a branch in the spokes of a Chariot wheel. Are you steering this vehicle for someone else, or driving it towards the destination of what you think is expected of you?

This example is not what I feel the reading is about, and not all will identify with this, but consider being queer in a family that expects you to live up to a heterosexual template for life and relationships. It’s not easy to be the rainbow sheep of the family, especially if your parents expect you to find a “suitable” relationship, have a big white wedding, and give them a passel of grandchildren to spoil. Being gender non-conforming, having a same-sex partner, exploring non-monogamous relationships, not wanting to marry, or deciding either to not have children or to adopt can all feel like disappointments to parents who have an image in mind for how your life should go. This is sad for them, but your life is yours. You are allowed to live it how you see fit. If you have made relationship choices to placate a parent—to give them something that looks “good on paper” to avoid disappointing them, or about which they can brag to their friends—you are not living your life for yourself, but for someone else. This can also apply to peer groups; if your friends don’t like your partner/s because they don’t have the “right image” or they seem “weird,” it can be tempting to cave and choose someone of whom they approve. At the end of the day, though, they live in their home and you live in yours; who do you want to spend that time and space with—their ideals, or your comfort and joy?

Looking at the Lovers in terms of choice alongside the power to take the reins represented by the Chariot, the 10 of Cups—traditionally an indication of happiness in family and relationships, contentment, and emotional fulfillment—is the assurance that choosing for yourself and honoring your own heart will result in the joy you deserve. A relationship that pleases others on the outside of it, but feels like punishment on the inside, won’t make you a better person; it will just make you miserable. You are allowed to be happy and have the life you want, even if it looks weird or wrong to others. You can have something unconventional; you are permitted by spirit to seek light and happiness on a path that makes sense to you. The expectations of others can feel like a wall you must vault to win their approval, but if you can see a door to the other side, it’s okay to walk through it.

To sum up, if this is for you, there are decisions to make regarding love and relationships, and it’s a good time to make them. If you are in a relationship where no amount of climbing seems to get you anywhere (conflict that never seems to be resolved, an ongoing sense of mistrust, feeling controlled), or you are dreaming (figuratively, but also literally—pay attention to your dreams!) about a past or lost love, give your own contentment some serious consideration. If you’ve been expected to color inside the lines, so to speak, living for yourself can feel like a rebellious act. Choosing what you want can be scary, but it can also lead to the sweet fulfillment of the 10 of Cups. You are worth pursuing who and what you want—your family and friends will just have to deal with it, and once they see you happier in your element, they’ll get over themselves. (And if they don’t—do they really care about your best interests? Or are only concerned with superficial image for their own ends?)

Thank you for visiting with me today, and if any of this helped or gave you something to think about, I am humbled to assist in your peace. Take care of yourself, know that you deserve the love of your life, and remember that you are always, always welcome at my kitchen table. -KTT 🌻💛