Kitchen Table Tarot

3 of Swords, 7 of Pentacles, 6 of Cups w/ 2 of Cups on the bottom

Hello friend, and welcome to my kitchen table. January has been a sparse month for me in terms of being called to share energy readings, and I don’t want to make any promises about frequency in the upcoming weeks, but I am going to do my best. I hope that whatever you’re doing and wherever you are that you are also doing your best—your best doesn’t have to be the best, and sometimes your best is just survival. If any of this resonates for you, I’m glad that you’re here, and I hope that you may find comfort and clarity. If this doesn’t resonate, I still appreciate you taking a moment out of your day to spend it here with me. Let’s get to these cards, shall we?

The 3 of Swords, which hasn’t come out very often in my readings, tells me that you have been through so much, dear one. So much, in fact, that it might feel like anguish is all you know and have ever known—yet what it is that torments you is still in some way unknowable. This sorrow can build an untenable frustration, something that feels impossible to overcome. Difficulties that have names or are easily recognizable can respond to strategy or solutions; here, in this place, you may feel swallowed whole by the invisible and impossibly large. The bad news is that there is no way to avoid it. The ways by which we seek to stifle suffering—behaviors that give us a momentary feel-good boost like drinking/drugging/eating our feelings, or trying to buy or gamble our way to happiness—are only short-term bandages. This is not a judgement call on such activities, but rather an acknowledgement that, at times, it feels easier to give over to those things than face the idea that some hurts don’t have answers. We have all done this to some extent or another; some of us to the point where it’s hard to tell the difference between what is escapism and what is genuine happiness. The good news—and it is there, but perhaps at this time it’s a fleeting glimpse of a silver lining—is that misery does not last forever. The unknowable heaviness does not have to be solved to be survived. Continuing to live in the shadow of it is a victory and evidence of growth. Though the growth may be small, even the tiniest sprout is a testament to the light inside us, that which persists when all is dark and expands both our patience and our ability to withstand pain.

The 7 of Pentacles here speaks to that growth and patience. It may be hard to hear that word—patience—when it seems that eons are passing you by. I do not mention it flippantly, like waiting is easy. For some of us it feels that we are stuck in the purgatory of waiting—for answers, for wisdom, for resolution—and that it is all we will ever do. The phrase “a watched pot never boils” comes to mind. Of course the watched pot will boil eventually, but it seems like it takes far longer than it actually does when you never take your gaze from it, like the bubbles are taking their sweet-ass time to appear just to spite you. The image in this particular card reminds me of that notion, that perhaps the person is disappointed by the plant’s slow growth, staring at it, willing it to just flourish already! However, as we contain multitudes, I also get the vibe that there is great care and appreciation for the growth that has occurred. These things can coexist!

That appreciation, though, is key—and brings us to the 6 of Cups. When you are able to take stock of what changes and growth have occurred during this period of challenge and waiting, your perspective towards yourself and the world at large will be much kinder and giving. While it is important to stay in the present moment (rather than lose yourself to “future tripping,” or getting mired in regretful memories of the past), it’s necessary sometimes to look back and see what you’ve lived through—what you’ve survived will tell the story of how you’re actually doing right now, in this moment. You may not feel, in the 3 of Swords grief, that you have attained any wisdom or anything else to show for your pain. But when you look back at the past not only will you see where you’ve been and how far you’ve come, you may begin to identify the people/places/things in your life that have been guiding lights along the way. This will help you separate what things were coping mechanisms and what were sources of real joy that aided you in your growth. If there is something from the past you wanted to find again, this act of contemplation might help you rediscover it. Nostalgia isn’t just “being trapped in the past”—it can be a source of great healing for you, a therapeutic recovery of what is truly important and a light on the current path that shows the way forward.

The Two of Cups on the bottom is the overall vibe of these three cards. The suffering, growth, and contemplation aren’t for nothing. This may be preparing you for union and love. When we talk about those things, it isn’t just about hearts and flowers. Union can mean putting parts of yourself back together with the love you have managed to uncover for yourself by looking at what you have achieved and what wisdom you have gained. In turn this will lay better foundations for love with others, whether platonic or romantic in nature. This reminds me of RuPaul’s signature send-off phrase, “if you don’t love yourself, how the hell you gonna love somebody else?” I don’t completely agree with the sentiment—sometimes it’s hard to love yourself, and easier to love others. You might also learn something about loving yourself from allowing others to love you in all of your imperfect glory. But at the end of the day, you do have to put forth effort to get along with yourself. “Love” might be too strong a word for it, depending where you are on life’s journey and how hard your 3 of Swords has been. But the more you actually try to appreciate and like yourself, even in teeny tiny baby steps, the easier it will be—and one day you’ll look back at how much you’ve grown and how much more light you attract when you are able to see the light in yourself, and truly feel that love.

And if it helps at all, I am here to tell you that you are a child of the universe, a delightful spirit, and so, so worthy of love—no matter how down you might feel in this moment. When you need that reminder, you are always very welcome to find it here at my kitchen table. -KTT 🌻💛