Kitchen Table Tarot

Hello friends, and welcome/welcome back to my kitchen table. WOW, is it really July? Time blindness is a doozy and I’m not much for posting if I don’t feel spirit is moving me to share. However, the reading I did today felt so thematically connected and prompted so much writing in its interpretation that I am compelled to put it here for whoever needs the overall message. This may be a very specific energy, so if it doesn’t resonate with you, that’s okay! If it does resonate, I hope that it might clear some things up for you or help you sort through your feelings on your own unique situation.

The overarching message here—the TL;DR if you will—is that it hurts you to ignore the voice of your own reason and reality to please others. We’ve all met a so-called realist, someone blunt who purports to “tell it like it is” and deliver an uncoated dose of truth to someone they think needs it. Some folks are capable of this, sure, but by and large such claims are coming from someone who cares more about dominating others and bossing them around—in other words, a judgemental asshole. I feel that whoever needs this is currently grappling with such a person, perhaps even a group of such people, whose powers of persuasion are generated primarily by the regulator on a gas lamp.

In reverse, the Moon card can represent an end to uncertainty and gaining great wisdom from facing down one’s fears, usually by questioning oneself about how things are perceived and being vigilant in matters of illusion and intuition, as to be kept from trickery. Visually, when the card is upright the moon is seen in the sky, and here it is on the “ground,” which I think describes the concept of grounding and being aware of reality. The thing about reality is that it’s actually subjective more than purely objective. People see colors differently, smell scents and odors differently—whose reality is “correct,” the person who tastes cilantro as a zesty, citrusy herb or the one who tastes it as flowery soap? Their realities are different, but neither is wrong. And so we must also be conscious that reality differs in experiences of emotion and perception of experiences. You must be aware of how you perceive things and how perception can change not only from person to person but with introduction of new information and knowledge. What makes sense to you? What makes things feel more “right”? The person who tastes cilantro as soap might take in the opinions of those who taste it as something delicious and think that there’s something objectively wrong with them—until they learn that there’s a known genetic variable that might determine how one’s senses interpret its flavor. That is one specific example, but this notion of objective reality is called into question in many ways. For another example, if an individual is experiencing pain (physical or mental), it isn’t up to any other person to tell them that they aren’t. This card to me signifies a need to listen to your body and get to know how it translates feelings and energy vibrations into physical sensations. What does it tell you about what you’re going through and how do different feelings manifest? Checking in can help you determine your own baseline reality and tune your intuition into what threats are real and which are just fears run amok. For that matter, current conversations surrounding neurodiversity have a lot to teach us about trusting in our lived experiences and adjusting accordingly to make all aspects of our lives more manageable—regardless of whether others see us as “weird” or “delulu.”

A reversed eight of swords following this reversed Moon speaks to me about emancipation from limited and imprisoning thought. The swords are a suite connected to mental processes and acuity, and here especially the mind as it interprets and relates an individual’s state of reality. This is confirmation that you are starting to trust in your own mind, perception, and experience rather than taking others’ word for it (which could be how they assess and interpret you, the criticism and advice they give, and/or the suggestion that you are “overthinking” or in denial if you disagree with how they see you). You are beginning to see yourself clearly by the light of intuition, no longer in the shadows of self-doubt—a place where it is much easier for dominating personalities to tell you how to think about yourself. Perhaps people around you have been telling you that you cannot trust yourself. There is no reason for such misguided counsel except that they don’t (or can’t) trust themselves either, and they would rather not be alone in their fearful uncertainty. It is natural to want company in one’s misery, but it can often exacerbate it. There isn’t any need for toxic positivity, either—you cannot find your way out of a dark place by staring directly at a source of light; rather, that light will temporarily blind you. If you are surrounded by people who mask their outlook in toxic positivity, you can find yourself blamed for your inability to see anything in their cajoling phrases and cliched bumper sticker-sized advice. On the card here the eight swords reversed present a challenge and obstacle, the potential to fall on your own blades of fear. If you take the blindfold off you will be able to navigate your way through. To put it another way, if you are a crab in a bucketful of other crabs who refuse to let their fellow crustaceans pull their own way out, you might have to rock the philosophical and social boat a little to tip the bucket and scuttle out. This can be a scary proposition, especially if everyone around you adheres to a system of belief and really don’t like it to be questioned, but this is your one wild and precious life. If you find yourself bound and your sight impaired by those around you, their scolding and opinions will become the least of your worries once you find your way to better crabs. That difficulty will make freedom so much sweeter.

The Hierophant in reverse continues this theme, suggesting a break with traditions that don’t make sense to you or leaning into finding a collective that understands being different. (As well as traditions, this could refer to or include a teacher or mentor.) If you have found yourself in a situation, group, and/or belief system that started with promise but ultimately doesn’t fit, the problem may not be you. Actually, the problem isn’t you. It could be that your current circle/relationship(s)/workplace/support system may suit some people, and that’s just fine for them—but trying to change the entire shape of your being to be a part of it will just cause you more and more pain. You could be receiving the message that you’re just beyond help or too broken or aren’t capable of hard work or don’t want to change or are fundamentally dishonest—whether it’s direct, indirect, or a self-belief you’ve picked up by surrounding yourself with people who have no problem conforming or are trapping themselves with contrary boundaries (if it hurts it’s good for you! If it’s bitter, keep eating it! If it’s hard, that always means it’s worth doing!). Long-term voluntary punishment of this kind will only burn you out. Oppressing yourself because you believe it’s the only way you can be “fixed” or become a “good person” is simply creating hell on earth. Structure is fine; being part of a religious community, for example, can give you fellowship, companionship and understanding on the road of life. But if it feels Sisyphean, no-one can tell you to keep rolling the boulder. I mean, they can, but you have autonomy. It’s fine to listen to the inner teacher inside of you and refuse to keep showing up for self-flagellation masquerading as help.

To put it another way: kids often balk at eating vegetables when they’re poorly and plainly prepared, met with an insistence that they’re GOOD FOR YA! and that sometimes you have to endure something that tastes or smells bad to get the benefits. Brussels sprouts aren’t good for you because they’re stinky or bitter; they’re good for you because they contain nutrients and fiber. But if they’re unseasoned and boiled half to death, you won’t want to eat them, and no amount of scolding from a parent who insists that they had to eat them like this, so quit yer bitchin’, brat will make that a reality. (And no amount of cilantro will make a taco taste good if the herb registers on your tongue as soap.) Imagine, though, that as an adult someone serves you Brussels sprouts that have been roasted with olive oil and salt and garlic and they smell and taste amazing. You might realize a couple of things: one, sometimes people will exert authority over you because they can’t see another way to accomplish a task and insist that tradition is the only way, and two, you can experience the benefits of things without a concurrent punishment to enforce the lesson (and you never have to eat shitty vegetables ever again). Sometimes tradition sucks, continuing to exist only because those who cling to it are too afraid to try something else. They instead convince themselves that they must do something awful over and over again or they won’t benefit. But nobody benefits from a punitive meal or going through motions that don’t feel right. Endure this punishment or you’ll get a worse punishment (like eat these gross Brussels sprouts or we’ll confiscate your Gameboy; do this or you’ll die; believe in this or you’ll go to hell) is no way to live. If this is ringing true in some way then you’ve been fighting your own intuition for a long time. Listen to it. Being a nonconformist weirdo doesn’t mean your problems and circumstances—indeed, your life—are all unmanageable or will get bigger if you don’t follow a particular set of rules. It just means that your path to peace is different. And you’re allowed to go find it.

Should this resonate for you, it might be the permission you’re seeking to listen to your own voice of reason and reality and break from people-pleasing cycles. You are allowed to free yourself and try something else, whether that’s a new job, a different spiritual discipline or congregational group, a friendship circle, or a relationship. Always make your breaks with compassion and consideration, but you don’t have to stay where you’re not growing to avoid hurting the feelings of others. Find a crowd that accepts you and allows you to question without expecting conformity and obedience; there is no shame in disagreement. Unpin yourself and fly high, you beautiful butterfly.

Thank you so much for spending this time with me—I admit, it got a little chatty! May you find peace, kindness, and love wherever you go, and know that you are always very, very welcome at my kitchen table. ♥️